February 1st, 2009 by Solange

Today is Super Bowl 43! And most likely, you have sent or have received an invitation to a Super Bowl event. Whether it is to an informal event such as a Super Bowl party or a formal event such as a wedding or bridal shower; invitations and invitation cards are an etiquette minefield. Common questions are should they be sent and replied to by e-mail or not, how to formulate the message, who should I invite, etc… Let’s try to clarify with a few important invitation card tips and tricks.

It is perfectly acceptable to use email for a invitation (or an reply) to a wedding shower, but I am afraid that it is a big no no when it comes to the wedding invitation self or the acceptance, it  has to be paper. Invitations to anniversary celebrations can be sent in a number of ways. As a general rule, if it is to be a important celebration, invitations should be sent at least 6 weeks in advance. This timeframe also depends on the size and magnitude of the event as well as the timing.  If the party is during a holiday period such as in the Christmas Holidays, you will be well advised to send a “save the date” notelet in advance of the invitation, you can do so up to a year ahead. For an informal event such as a Super Bowl party, it is perfectly acceptable to send them through emails just a few weeks before the event. 

Invitations are also the place to clarify the type of celebration, and what your guest are expected to do, bring, wear, etc…But there are ways of doing so, not conforming to the etiquette is a faux-pas, and you don’t want that!

Children and “troublesome partners”: you can’t really say “No children please” or invite only one person in a couple; it is commonly understood that only the person(s) named are invited, if you have doubts you might want to speak direct with the people invited to let them know that no children will not be present or an “ex” will be.

Formal diners and restaurant meals: if a party is in the evening and the celebration is important, it is understood to be “Black tie”. “Black tie” does not appear in the wording of the invitation but again if you have concerned, use it as a foot-note.

If the celebration takes place in a restaurant and the invitees are supposed to pay for their meal, the wording should reflect that : “to share in a lunch” for example, joining the menu with the prices will reinforce the message.

For an informal occasion at home such as a house warming party where you will want people to pitch in, simply make it clear on the invitation as to what they could bring. It also gives you the opportunity to co-ordinate. I once went to a 40^th birthday party where the invitees were kindly asked to bring local cheeses, it was a fantastic hit, of course a little more difficult to achieve if all live in the same district.

Phrasing for formal invitation is always in the 3^rd person, no abbreviations everything is spelled out e.g.: “junior” not “jr” nor “j.” since all initials are banned.

Responding is important even if you are not going but that can be done via e-reply.